Beyond Masturbation - expanding self pleasure for men

Beyond Masturbation - expanding self pleasure for men.

Many of us wish for a deeper connection to our sexuality in partnered sex, but our self pleasure is often missing the very qualities we long to receive from another. A rich and rewarding self pleasure practice is the foundation not only of greater intimacy with a partner but of a deeper relationship with our bodies, our hearts and our aliveness.

Since adolescence, the messaging we have received around masturbation is often counter to this potential. In many cases it is physiologically incorrect and psychologically harmful, but mostly it is absent. This leaves us to pornography and peers for our sex education, which means we often don’t have the best information or the appropriate techniques.

For many men, masturbation is tense, adrenalized, penis-focused, disconnected from the heart and disembodied from the rest of a body designed to give as much pleasure as the genitals. Ejaculation is often the primary goal both in sex and in masturbation, and the journey there is seldom one characterized by relaxation and sensual enjoyment.

Other obstacles to expanded self pleasure include requiring visual or mental stimulation for arousal or any pleasure to be possible.

Join Sexological Bodyworkers Simon and Francis in a masturbation masterclass where we will teach a variety of self practices to support relaxing into full body pleasure, expanding capacity for pleasure, techniques to support early ejaculation, weak erections and numbness in the genitals as well as pathways towards full body orgasm.

As a society we have places for men to gather, we have powerful men’s work, but few places cater to doing the important work of healing and expanding our relationship with our sexuality as men. It’s time that we as men gather and support each other in this work, dismantling the shame and isolation that challenges in these areas foster and call in a courageous and loving brotherhood in service of a right relationship with our sex.

There is immense power in gathering as a group, but touch practices are strictly a solo experience.

During self touch practices participants will be blindfolded.

For some exercises nudity is invited but optional.

Date: Saturday 28th November 2026

Time: 3:45 for 4pm start until 8pm

Fruition House, 388 Albert Road, Woodstock.

Ticket Prices

Early Bird R650

Standard R800

Community Support: R1200 (Enable someone who can’t afford a standard ticket to attend at a further reduced rate)

Community Sponsored Ticket: Contact us should finances be an obstacle.

About the Facilitators:

Simon Heller

Certified Sexological Bodyworker & Somatic Sex Educator

Simon loves to guide people to their full potential. “When I start a workshop and meet all the participants, I love the energy in the space. And when I see the relaxed and glowing faces after the workshop, that gives me goosebumps every time.”

Introduced to the world of Bodywork in 2014, Simon participated in a 4-day intensive Tantric workshop in Switzerland, which completely changed his life.

He went on to study Somatic Sexology at the International School of Sexological Bodywork in Zürich, learning how to guide people into their sexuality and beyond. After finishing a Teacher degree (facilitator training), he began hosting his own Tantra and Bodywork workshops and is now bringing these teachings to South Africa and the world.

Simon loves deep conversations and real connection to people. He loves to learn, is curious about everything around sexuality and relating and is not afraid of making mistakes for “this is how we learn”.

Simon also offers Online Courses in how to reconnect with yourself through body-based exercises and methods from Sexological Bodywork, in a 60-day guided journey. He also hosts a Podcast about Bodywork.

Website | simonheller.ch

Francis Chouler

Francis is a certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Practitioner. Sexological Bodywork is a globally recognised touch and movement based modality that facilitates learning, healing and expansion in matters of intimacy, sexuality and embodiment. 

In 2026 Francis trained with Shakti shiva academic in the fundamentals of embodied facilitation. Along with this he brings 20 years experience of embodied practices including dance, theatre, yoga, qi gong and breathwork.

Francis’s own journey to discover a full bodied experience of his sexuality has brought him full circle into facilitating and teaching this work with other men.

FAQ

Is this a gay event?

No, these practices and this community are for all men seeking to expand their sexual practice. Who you desire is not relevant to this work. All practices are about tuning into your own body. We welcome men of all sexualities, gathering in this way can be very healing for brotherhood as many men have not felt safe with other men to even talk about challenges in this area.

Is this a sex party?

Absolutely not. There is no touch between men and the eroticising of men in the space is counter to the invitation to tune into your own body and discover how to generate arousal from inside.

What if I am not able to get an erection in the self touch practices?

That is totally fine and very normal. Many men will find the presence of other men makes an erection not possible. That is the body’s natural response at this stage of exploration. Much can be gained from being with the body and allowing its natural response. Most challenges with performance come from internal pressure and expectation, so this is valuable territory to dismantle internal tyranny towards our genitals.

What if I ejaculate spontaneously?

The objective of the practices is to explore whole body arousal, aliveness, stimulation and pleasure including but not over focused on the genitals. Equally we will not be chasing orgasm or ejaculation, rather trying to re-wire some of the patterning that always seeks to escalate for maximum pleasure. Accordingly it is unlikely in this context that an ejaculation happens, but if it spontaneously happens, there is no problem.

What if I have an energy (non-ejaculatory) orgasm?

This is welcome and encouraged. As we generate and move sexual energy around our bodies some men may receive the gift of ripples of pleasure that are the beginnings of full body orgasm, or even have a full body experience. This is welcome and celebrated, and in the room can even ‘spark’ others.

I am curious to explore this work but not ready to do it in a group

We encourage you to come in spite of your fear with the knowledge that even if you have clothes on the whole time and do only a few of the practices, breath work, movement, you will gain valuable knowledge. That said if it’s a no, email us to be put on the waitlist for an online version or consider one on one work with Simon or Francis.

I am a trans man, am I welcome?

If you feel you would benefit from exploring your self pleasure practice in this space, you are welcome. Self touch practices will be blindfolded and nudity is optional.

I would like to explore this work but in partnered work.

We have a men’s Temple on Friday 13th November and other Sexological Bodywork workshops to explore.

Have questions not addressed above? Book a call with Simon or Francis by emailing: francis@aliveness.co.za or hello@touched.co.za

What to bring:

A camping or yoga mat, a sarong or towel.

Botanical bar

Non-alcoholic drinks for sale

FRUITION HOUSE: WHAT’S COMING UP

Fruition House is a space for embodied connection, conscious relating, community, creativity, ritual and exploration. 

Our programme moves across different practices and communities, from talks and workshops to dance, sound, 

drumming and queer gatherings.

October

Wed 28 Oct: Elemental sound journey with guest Chrisna van Niekerk

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/elemental-sound-journey-with-chrisna

Thurs 29 Oct: Cacoa, hape and medicine music with guest Minjay

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/cacao-hape-and-medicine-music-with-minjay

Fri 30 Oct:  Breathwork, Kanna Tea and Sound Journey with guest Gershan

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/microcosmic-breathwork-and-indigenous-bows-with-gershan

November

Tue 3 Nov: Psychedelic Society SA Talks ONLINE ONLY: 

Future proofing Humanity by Communicating with Nature, with Dr Saskia von Diest, founder of Ecofluency

https://www.psychedelicsociety.co.za/event-details/future-proofinghumanitybycommunicatingwithnature

Sat 7 Nov: Fruition: A Remembrance of Drumming & Dance, with guest facilitator Chrisna van Niekerk

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/fruition-a-remembrance-of-drumming-dance-1

Mon 9 Nov: The Connection Academy: Communication tools for social and play spaces. To be confirmed

Wed 11 Nov: Beyond Monogamy presents Cruising for Convos, a community gathering

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/beyond-monogamy-present-cruising-for-convos-2

Fri 13 Nov: Shamanic Temple presents Queer Men’s Temple, co-facilitated by Francis Chouler

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/queer-temple-for-gbtq-men

Sat 14 Nov: Fruition: Shamanic rewilding dance experience with guest Ka (Storm Willow Hartley) a South African artist based in Berlin.

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/fruition-an-intuitive-sound-dance-journey-through-evolution

Mon 16 Nov: Psychedelic Society SA Talks | Online & In-person | Coco & Tersius speak about traditional Bwiti initiations

(with iboga)

https://www.psychedelicsociety.co.za/event-details/iboga-traditional-bwiti-initiation-q-a

Thurs 19 Nov: Fruition Next Chapter Friends Forty+ (An evening for people over 40 who’d like to meet others 

and create authentic connections. Come on your own, bring a friend or partner)

Sat 21 Nov: Vortex Energetics Workshop with Carol Nelson

Sun 22 Nov: The Connection Academy: Relationship skills Sessions with Amy Nelson - Self regulation & co-regulation.

DEEPEN with a Vedic astrology reading to understand your relationship and selves with Marjorie Lobel Tue 24 Nov: How to Heal our World, a talk with Mishka, founder of the Psychedelic Society of South Africa. https://www.psychedelicsociety.co.za/event-details/healingourworld

Thurs 26 Nov: Queer Spirit Pillow Hang (An evening for all queers to come and hang out)

Sat 28 Nov: Men’s Masturbation Masterclass, hosted by Simon Heller & Francis Chouler at Fruition House

https://www.fruitionhouse.co.za/event-details/beyond-masturbation-expanding-self-pleasure-for-men

Sun 29 Nov: The Connection Academy: Relationship skills Sessions with Amy Nelson - Active Listening

December

 Tue 1 Dec: Fruition Intimate conversations: Hosted by Amy Nelson (guest to be announced)

Thurs 3 Dec: Divine Deviants: a third space for neurodivergent, non-monogamous, and queer communities, and anyone who lives, loves or relates differently (our very own first Thursday monthly rotating activities like cacao circle, dream sharing and interpretation, conversation nights with prompts about love, desire and difference, skill share, open mic show and tell, crafting evenings)

Sun 6 Dec: The Connection Academy: Relationship skills Sessions with Amy Nelson - Working with Triggers

Thurs 10 Dec: Fruition Friends Night Twenties and Thirties (An evening for people aged 20 to late 30's 

who’d like to meet others and create authentic connections. Come on your own, bring a friend or partner.

Sat 12 Dec: A Deep Remembrance Ayahuasca ceremony with Amy, Ancois and guest Minjay